By Rajashree Birla
Recently, one has been reading a lot about student shootings. A student running amok, gunning down innocent lives mindlessly and then ebbing out his own. Largely overseas. In India, at many institutes of technology, you hear of students committing suicide.
One feels so concerned. The highly complex competitive cutthroat environment is a blame factor, along with problems of the mind among many. Parents can help stem the situation to an extent.
Children are the greatest gift of God and undeniably the greatest blessing for all parents. True that parenting today is extremely challenging, with both parents busy with their jobs. The sheer competitiveness that you see among children and more so in parents is alarming. Somewhere, the fabric of our society needs to be retextured. Instead of always being in the fastest forward gear, move at what suits you best.
There is need for greater emotional bonding between parents and children, on working with a warm heart, a cool head, a strong sense of values and a firm hand on discipline. Parents are the most important teachers, who should never succumb to a culture of indulgence.
Not long ago, when small affordable cars started dotting the roads of Mumbai, a dear friend gifted her granddaughter one of those vehicles. To her utter surprise, the teenager said she couldn’t drive the car. Why? Because then she would be looked upon as a lower middle-class person! Both of us were appalled. And after some mulling over, the gift was withdrawn, the approach being ‘let her uber it out.’ This was a rare decision. Other elders would have indulged the child with a high-end car.
Parents are like the North Star. Like a compass, they guide children, embed the right values, impressing that good deeds are our monuments and give them a sense of direction at every turn in life’s journey.
Recount Kahlil Gibran’s seminal book, The Prophet : “Your children are not your children…
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow”.
My husband, Adityaji, and i had read The Prophet many, many moons ago side by side. Both of us then made a pact that this piece of sage advice would always be on our radar as we raise our children. We believed that parenting meant nurturing, giving unconditional love and support, imbibing values and giving them wings, of course, a good education. We felt that if these were in place, children would grow up to be good, responsible human beings.
Let me give you a shining example that all will relate to easily. The example of God of Indian cricket, Sachin Tendulkar. His natural talent was discovered by his father when Sachin was seven years old. He was groomed by his coach, Ramakant Achrekar. Sachin’s brother would always go with Sachin. It is this family structure and teacher support that, by Sachin’s own admission, provided the bedrock of his cricketing career.
The point that one wishes to drive home is that if we mould children right from the start to give of their very best and then to think of success as incidental, have no aggression in thought or deed, pursue their path and have a mind of their own with discipline as a process of learning and growing, enjoying each day as it comes, life would be different. No aberrations as shootings or suicides.
Disclaimer
Views expressed above are the author’s own.
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